Miracle Healing Ministry ®

Greetings and good morning from the beautiful Bitterroot Valley!  I need to be honest.  I am usually so excited to sit down and write this column every month.  Yesterday, I realized that my article needs to be in to the Editor today and I couldn’t think of anything inspirational to write about.  Yikes!  Who is this person?!

            It has been a difficult month for me.  Busy, as always, helping others across the miles with healings and a listening ear.  I devoted myself to helping a friend get a space prepared to begin renting so she can continue to pay her mortgage.  I helped this same friend prepare for a garage sale to make a little extra money.  I volunteered to help both my kids in need of pet sitting while they vacationed.  Always, always….being a little Miss Do-Gooder.

            On top of daily moment-to-moment helpfulness, I have been going deeper within myself as a life-long karmic cycle was coming to an end.  Ouch!  That wasn’t very much fun – and yet I am so grateful for what it means for my future.

            I woke up two weeks ago and the first thought in my head as I was getting back into my body said, “I live in a NEW WORLD.”    Momentarily, I wondered if the entire world around me had come to an end.  As I pondered this statement, I noticed the beautiful sunshine filtering through my drapes casting a soft golden glow in the room.  I performed my routine of connecting Directly to Source, felt His Presence, and put my feet on the floor and a smile on my face to begin my day.

            With a cup of coffee in hand, I sat at the table and started reviewing possibilities of what it might mean if I lived in a New World.  My first thought wandered to no longer needing to supply loving energy to user/loser/abuser/manipulator folk that I draw like moths to the flame.

            I have actually been chastised for being Pollyanna and after I am run-over-the-top of, the cherry on top is to be told after all that giving, “It’s ON YOU!”  Giving time, energy, money, food, attention, and assistance on every level and then be told it wasn’t good enough for the one time they don’t get their way is a very big OUCH.  Yet, I still continued to love the unlovable, see the best in everyone and just continue being me. 

            Before I continue, I want to admit that I really dislike the words “soul mate” and assume it has anything to do with finding the perfect person who fulfills you.  I am in complete agreement with Wayne Dyer (may God rest his soul) who said, “A soul mate is a turd that won’t flush.”

            Soul mates can enter your life as a child, be a parent, a friend, a stranger in passing, or as a love relationship.  The term, in my opinion, means you have a karmic contract to teach one another a lesson in some form.

            As I sat thinking of all the possibilities of living in a NEW WORLD, I envisioned plenty of grand things for myself and others.  Heaven on earth can only make one imagine what it might look like.

            Imagine my dismay as a cloud of darkness hovered above me and my world with a beloved came crashing down.   Someone I enjoyed being with took off their mask for a brief moment in time which allowed me to see something that had been withheld and crossed every boundary line I have.  Oh, man.  “Go within” and discover what Spirit is telling and showing me.  For a few days in isolation examining my thoughts and actions of a lifetime became crystal clear – I was experiencing a spiritual death of myself and becoming transformed to begin an entirely new life.

            This doesn’t mean that I may not falter and fall from time to time, but it does mean that I have crystal-clear vision to see what is before me.  It means, my friend, I had a Divine Intervention moment of removing the blocks on my path to fulfill my destiny.

            If you have followed me in my columns for any length of time, you know me as the most authentic person I can be.  My life is an open book.  I live in a glass house and don’t hesitate to tell people the facts of my life, be them good or bad.

            I have had several men in my 17 years of being a widow tell me they believed I was their soul mate as we met, talked, and got to know each other better.  I cringed when I heard the words, thinking “Uh oh….what does this character have to teach me?”

            Twin Flames:  I believe in those words as a “true love relationship” where two souls make each other feel complete.  I also believe this is rare.  I always felt like my husband Kirk and I were Twin Flames.  We loved each other so deeply and brought out the best in one another.  Alas, imagine how I felt to discover that he was just a part of the line-up in the category of a Karmic Cycle once I became honest within myself.  Ugh.  That awareness was difficult to swallow!

            In my current reality, I was experiencing that I met a new friend in my life and getting to know one another was exciting and fun…until it wasn’t.  I was beginning to have tell-tale signs that something was wrong.  The passion I was feeling was dwindling and rapidly without conscious effort.  I couldn’t hug them any longer even because a distinct bad odor would arise.

            As a healer, I haven’t had a sense of smell since I went public in 1995.  I “taste” smells, which is gross as I am doing a healing and I can taste chemicals/street drug usage/alcohol/ illness/and even death coming into my sensation of awareness.  This was all happening and I was quite discouraged and ignoring it to the best of my ability.

            Still ignoring as much as I could, I was getting constant feedback that even through brief hugs, the smell/taste occurred and it permeated my home.  It wasn’t just with one individual; it was with occurring with a few people I have in my social circle.  I was confused and because I was ignoring and pretending everything was okay, the bottom fell out.

            I didn’t know how to handle it, except with honesty.   I just can’t do this any longer.  I, being a sensitive Libra/healer, I certainly didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  But I had to look deeply at what the relationship(s) were doing as a part of my life.  I don’t need someone “stroking my ego” or “blowing smoke up my butt” to have validation or superficial support….but I also don’t need someone demeaning me and shrugging it off that it is an okay-behavior.  It is NOT OKAY!

            When we meet a new person or even if it is friends in our social circle, we attempt to show one another our best version.  We want to be liked and we also overlook some of the glitches, giving them the benefit of the doubt.  In my case, my body was showing me “signs” before my mental ability could catch up.  I could NOT ignore the signs and I had two choices.  Ignore (which I couldn’t do and remain in denial) or contemplate through meditation and going within to make healthy self-loving decisions and take physical action. 

            Me, being such an open-book with everyone, I have honestly spoken about my mom being a “rage-a-holic” throughout my life.  I have explained so many times that I have undergone emotional abuse.  When my person(s) were becoming my friends, they  withheld information that they are emotionally abusive.  Darn their bad luck….how’s that going for you now that you cannot be part of my social circle or personal life?!  The masks come off with Divine Intervention when the time is up.

            If we hang on to these people, they are blocking our growth.  We may not want to hurt them and remain “nice,” but that “nice” is not allowing you or me to move on to our greater good and live in a NEW WORLD.  It may feel hard to do.  I loved 99 things about them, but that one thing wouldn’t allow me to live in integrity with my values and self-worth. 

            When I was assaulted, I wrote a book of prevention and recovery.  How do you take such a vile subject and turn it into an inspirational book?  I call it “polishing a turd.”  A friend who experienced incest asked me to write a book about it and help people in that area.  So, I did – and “polished another turd.”  Now here today, I am polishing another one!

            Are you walking on eggshells, afraid you might say the wrong thing and have an explosion that makes you freeze and go into fight or flight?  Like I said, everyone can have a hard day and we can give them the benefit of the doubt.  When someone outright tells you they are emotionally abusive….listen.  Watch their behavior around others and animals.  People can only pretend so long. 

            Are they aggressive in public or with their neighbors?  I remember having this conversation with my granddaughters not so long ago.  I asked if they would want to grow up and be in relationships that added fear and anxiety for themselves and possibly their children.

            No.  Nope.  Nada.  Ain’t gonna happen in my reality.  I am here to make a difference, to make this world a better place to be.  If the people around me don’t support that same theme, it is “Sayonara Sucker” time…I’m outta here!  I HAVE TO STAND UP FOR WHAT I BELIEVE or I am just “another talking head” in a world filled with deceit for as long as they can get away with it.

            I have been walking merrily down my path in life, knowing how committed I am to fulfilling my destiny and dream and wondering what was taking it so long to get to.  First of all, I didn’t know the Karmic cycle of co-dependency and people pleasing that was blocking me from going forward to achieving it.  Also, NONE of my experiences have been a waste of time.  I saw the cycle repeat  over and over in relationships. Until it was in Divine Order, I couldn’t see everything clearly enough to know how to handle it.  None of this made it “wrong” or a waste of time.  Each experience prepared me for what I will be doing for others, fulfilling my destiny.

            God threw me a “fork in the road” for my highest good to lovingly get me on the right path towards achieving my goals.  OMG, for that, I will BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. 

            I have two more people to whack from my life (and I mean that in the most spiritual way).  I will do it lovingly (or NOT!) as it presents in His Timing, but they need to get their combat boots off my cape so I can get up the mountain on my own without carrying their lazy/selfish ass to the top.

            Ahhh, that cape!  I can make a tablecloth or napkins out of it for future use down the road, but I need to stop using it to carry users forward into my dream.  I have seen the light.  (I AM the light and I have seen plenty!)

            This realization comes at a perfect time, as it will for you now that you have this awareness.  Self-care is your priority.  If anyone is treating you with less than respect, it is time to go within, identify your part of this imbalance…and take steps to BALANCE IT.

            Are you frozen in fear and stuck, anxious for the dynamite blowing and possibly being injured?  I know all-too-well how that feels!  I understand, but there is a superb way around it.

            In my first marriage, I knew it was over and didn’t know how to proceed.  I lived in Texas in a 6,000 square foot home with 13 sliding glass doors that I was spritzing one afternoon.  As I cleaned the windows, I chanted,  “ALL THOSE WHO ARE NO LONGER PART OF THE DIVINE PLAN OF MY LIFE…LEAVE EFFORTLESSLY, EASILY, PAINLESSLY, PEACEFULLY, PERFECTLY (AND RIGHT F’ING NOW.)”  I ended up in divorce court so quickly, I didn’t know what hit me.  My mom later said, “I never saw such a peaceful loving divorce in all my life until now.”

            I have shared that Divine Insight with many people throughout my life and they all have experienced the truth and result.  If it is time to let someone go, let them go in a spiritual way.  After all, a NEW WORLD awaits us to all live in harmony (individually and collectively.)

            As Gloria, I didn’t think I had anything inspirational to say.  After reflective/contemplative minutes within…these words have unfolded.  I hope they are helpful to you on your journey.  Self-care!!  You are so important and God loves you so very much.  I know because I am feeling His love for you, through me.  He is waiting patiently for you to surrender to Him, allowing Him to take you the distance to your dreams, destiny, and NEW WORLD.

            Until next month, take care…I care…

Now and always,

Gloria D. Benish, Ph.D.

Alias:  Dr. Glo-bug – Just here “to lighten things up”